sekedar cerita
she sits up. lying down didn't do her any good. she had been tossing and turning for the last 2 hours. what's wrong with her? she kept asking herself. so, she decided to sit up. and she slowly reach for her handphone.
she scrolled through the text messages. memories. it has been 3 days. she have been keeping the counts. 3 days. or was it since thursday night. should she reveal the whole count, including the seconds. or should she minus the few seconds she surrendered into calling. just to listen to the voice. who, in the other end, would want nothing to do with her. who asked whether she needed time off. when what she wanted at that time is to be closer, to not be parted, for she would lose the company after she had lost the heart.
she told herself, this is not love. she's not in love. she never knew love. she tried hard to fool her heart. but can the heart be fooled by a smart mind. her mind ponders on. while she was sitting. while her thumb was scrolling down the text messages. which bring smiles to her heart. for those time, she was given the attention she needed. she was given the affection she needed. she was loved. she was the 'sayang' she used to be.
she wanted to grab a stick and smoke. but her room condition wouldn't allow it. plus, its too soon to be smoking in the room. she wanted to grab a book to read, but she know she'll end up lost in between the pages, while her thumb kept scrolling down the text messages.
there's a moment in life, when you wonder, what you really want.
there's a moment in life, when you wonder, why they prefer crème brûlée when you are just a simple jell'o, or maybe, bubur kacang.
but can you blame hearts from falling love? when you have been rising in love?
she turned on her laptop and played her itunes, dived inside the comforter and put a pillow on her head.
she slept a good night sleep. she'll sleep until she wakes up again. and start counting the seconds of how hollow her heart beats.
she scrolled through the text messages. memories. it has been 3 days. she have been keeping the counts. 3 days. or was it since thursday night. should she reveal the whole count, including the seconds. or should she minus the few seconds she surrendered into calling. just to listen to the voice. who, in the other end, would want nothing to do with her. who asked whether she needed time off. when what she wanted at that time is to be closer, to not be parted, for she would lose the company after she had lost the heart.
she told herself, this is not love. she's not in love. she never knew love. she tried hard to fool her heart. but can the heart be fooled by a smart mind. her mind ponders on. while she was sitting. while her thumb was scrolling down the text messages. which bring smiles to her heart. for those time, she was given the attention she needed. she was given the affection she needed. she was loved. she was the 'sayang' she used to be.
she wanted to grab a stick and smoke. but her room condition wouldn't allow it. plus, its too soon to be smoking in the room. she wanted to grab a book to read, but she know she'll end up lost in between the pages, while her thumb kept scrolling down the text messages.
there's a moment in life, when you wonder, what you really want.
there's a moment in life, when you wonder, why they prefer crème brûlée when you are just a simple jell'o, or maybe, bubur kacang.
but can you blame hearts from falling love? when you have been rising in love?
she turned on her laptop and played her itunes, dived inside the comforter and put a pillow on her head.
she slept a good night sleep. she'll sleep until she wakes up again. and start counting the seconds of how hollow her heart beats.
akankah malam itu datang.
akankah bintang berjatuhan
akankah cintaku terbalas
akankah hatimu mendengar?
-'Bintang Jatuh' by Tompi-
posted by *cosmic freak* @ 8:28 AM
6 Comments:
At 9:49 AM, January 09, 2007 ,
juliana said...
u're not giving up okay.. not just yet! :)
At 9:55 AM, January 09, 2007 ,
*cosmic freak* said...
I hope .... but how can you not when there's no point .....
tak cuba maka tak gagal! hahahaha (a line from the malay version of 'Robots')
juliana, give me the strength with your perky happy attitude! hehehe.
At 10:02 AM, January 09, 2007 ,
Tenno Miyake said...
abby,
u yourself pun dah very strong. dun worry..
At 10:09 AM, January 09, 2007 ,
*cosmic freak* said...
me strong? are you sure?
how strong is your exterior actually indicates how fragile your interior is. (",)
At 11:14 PM, January 09, 2007 ,
zewt said...
maybe she should delete all the messages in the phone. or maybe she should just change to a new phone. or maybe she should wait for her fling's ex-gf's mother's best friend's daughter to tell her what to do.... who knows...?
At 7:46 AM, January 10, 2007 ,
*cosmic freak* said...
ala ... she shudnt delete the messages in her phone ... kenot .... hehehehehe .... sayang maaa....
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