the passion fruit

kalau di alih bahasakan tajuk entri ini, maka ia mungkin menjadi "buah keghairahan". hehehe.

it was a great weekend, which had opened my eyes to things I have taken forgranted. There were times you thought you knew better but apparently, you don't. Then, you just sit down for awhile and have that thinking moment, rationalising everything and you know how to face the adversities in life, which later, turns out to be not an adversity, but just, part of life that you should embrace. Because that what makes who you are.

But having that time of the month and being young, I could not escape from having this need to complaint, whine and just feel angry towards some things. And fortunately, I've dealt with most of them maturely.

Sometimes its pretty tiring to be matured, because you need some moment to be stupid and just young-blooded, with the temper, the rage and the foolish bit. Its tiring to always be wise and smart. It is. And to try to be wise, smart and matured, its more tiring, because thats what I'm striving for, to be a wise, smart and matured person that I'm not.

But ... at the end of the day, as much as you whine and compaint and sulk, you know yourself better. You know why you do the things you do. You know why you choose to do the things you do. You know your other options. You are aware of the whole situation. And you know your own capability in dealing with the problem or situation.

And at the end of the day, I just needed someone who trust me, who has faith in me, and tell me "its okay, things will be fine. I know you can handle it. You always do".

Recently, I realised that I am a passionate person, but its hard for me because passion + sarcasm = very very bad impression and will hurt people. So in most conversation, I usually goofed up, trying to be the full with my sarcastic remarks. By no means would I want to intentionally hurt anyone, but thats just me. There are times, I would want to speak my opinion but other people's seem more interesting that mine. So I keep quiet and play dumb goofball.

maybe I should have more fruits, more passion fruits. So I can joyfully share my passion during conversations.

Yes, I am not a great conversationalist.

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