I lifted my head slowly

who are you?

I'm the Beloved.

who's Beloved?

Yours.

i don't believe you. if i have a Beloved, why didn't i feel the love?

I'm your Beloved. That means YOU're the one who loves me.

owh yes, silly me. I am indeed a silly person. I'm a fool for love.

Why are you asking about not feeling love? Have you lost the passion to love me?

maybe. i forgot. i don't know.

Owh ...

do you want me to love you?

It's up to you.

do you?

I don't know.

whats the point of loving you like a fool I am, when you don't even care? That's just selfish, don't you think?

I don't know.


for a moment, I smiled. then slowly, I laughed at myself. I'm proud to have love, and stupid enough to not be loved in return. I'm proud to have found someone who would understand me, and stupid enough to not make the person mine.

I end up laughing hysterically at myself. then stopped, for a chuckle and a sigh.

I don't know where I stand, and where would I go. I don't know the depth of love I'm feeling and the sacrifices I'm willing to make.

right about now, I just am afraid of losing the Beloved. be it that I'm not loved in return. I told myself again and again, this is enough, for now. but my rationalisation is not satisfying enough.

rebellion and retaliation comes to mind. but sanity blocks all insane thoughts.

move on.

but where to go?

move forward.

but where does it leads me to?

you don't know where you're going, until you know where you've come from, a wise man once said.

I know where I came from, I know how much I can love.

but now I don't know where to go, and who to love.

and what to do.