growing pains

do you grow up in love?

do you let love grow up in you?

do you grow up with the thought that love is a happy ending occasion?
(are you for real?? hehehe)

I let love grew up in me and I grow to love what love brings to me.

I grew fond of the person and the comfort grow between us.

I see myself a lot when I love someone. I see the better side of me. I end up loving myself.

Its true when Rumi wrote:

If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

The pain comes when I needed space. Space between us meaning space between me and myself. And I'm utterly lost. Lost in the space I claimed I needed.

I'm not saying that loving someone might lead to vanity or narcissism.

When love and comfort grew between you and the beloved, filling up the space and distance, when you decided to take it all away, emptying the space, it felt like letting a boat float without an anchor.

I just finished watching "Playing by Heart" and I'd like to share part of the movie with you. I know its an old movie from 1998, but I adore Angelina Jolie so much so this is the line when she first appear in the movie:

[Joan]
I have a friend,
a jazz musician, trumpet player.
               
Really terrific. And I go
and hear him jam every month or so.
               
And he plays this piece I love:
an old Chet Baker song.
               
And he blows the same notes every time,
but every time it sounds different.
               
And we had drinks one night--
when I used to drink--
               
and I tried to tell him
how that song made me feel...
               
how the music made me feel
and how his playing made me feel.
               
And he just kept shakin'
his head, and he said...
               
"Joan, you can't talk about music.
               
Talking about music is like
dancing about architecture."
               
I just said, "Well, gonna
get all philosophical on me.
               
It's just as pointless as
talking about a lot of things.
               
Love, for instance."
               
And my friend laughed, and he said,
"Definitely. Most definitely.
               
Talking about love is
like dancing about architecture."
               
So I don't know.
He might be right.

But it ain't gonna stop me from trying.

Neat huh. Enjoy your day folks. Its back to work!
(btw, have you check my flickr? hehehehehehehe .....)

...