searching for the light

it has been quite an eventful week for me. Been through a lot, emotionally, physically and yeah, mentally. Ups and downs in just a few days. if say, within a few days, I can experience all these, I might aged up to 7 years in the normal one financial year. or maybe I'm actually a dog, who lives in a different concept of year. or maybe I'm a cat, with 9 lives, so God giveth me all these challenges, maybe death for 8 times before I can really be worthy of life. hehehe.

Recently, I wrote a comment in a friend's blog, "regret is an awful thing. when you regret, basically, you blame God. As if you've done enough to deserve the authority of blaming God. Thats why I kept on reminding myself to not regret. I'm nowhere from having that privilege of blaming God."

I noticed that a few of my ex schoolmates (guys) viewed my friendster profile. I had this urge to ask "kenapa nak view profile aku, ke nak check, budak buruk yang kau panggil 'babi yang muka macam pantat' tu masih buruk ke, apa?"

but no, I didn't do that. I've been through a lot and surprisingly, it has all been a blessing to me.

a couple of nights ago, as I entered my front door, I looked up and saw a beautiful full moon.

the light is there.

and I'm looking straight at it.

but I see nothing. and I wanted to cry.