a step forward

colonel will begin his retirement end of this month. it will be weird not having him waking up so early, rushing to kiss him (on the cheeks 3 times) before I dash out of the house. he will be going to another office, his own office, but it will be on his own sweet time. whenever he feels like it. probably after sending afis to school every morning. probably he'll wait after lunch, send fiqah to school, then only, make his way to his little office room in one of those shophouses. I grew up seeing colonel working, it'll be quite weird, altho he will still be working, but, he's no longer in the service. it'll be colonel (R). I asked him, will he have a retirement bash and he shook his head. I think I should give him one. with the family of course. buy something, ask mama to cook, and have some relatives over for the whole day. something to celebrate. why not. after all, I am who I am with his hard-earned pay all my life. mama, on the other hand, has about 5 more years to go before she retires. I guess, changes should be good.

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hence, my looking over my own self. I need to take a step forward. I'm so used to drastic changes and being at one place, is not good for me. I need to find out other doors of opportunities, start weighing my options. since I have no plans whatsoever towards matrimonial life, the only thing I have in plan, is to take care of myself and my own needs.

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a swan who got so used to the lake, one day, thought to herself.

"am I destined to just be here. to swin across this lake to and fro, and just walk around the bank, and sometimes, fly here and there?"

suddenly, the lake spoke to her.

"its not your destiny, nor am I trying to keep you here to stay. its your own choice. you chose not to explore the possibilities in life."

the swan, who was in quite a shock, started responding defensively, "I wasn't given the option. and nobody told me that I even had one. I should blame mother nature. she didn't tell me I had other options!"

all of a sudden, the lake water started heating up, and it started boiling. the swan, furious of the sudden temperature rise, flew away and found another lake to settle down.

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lake water doesn't heats up and starts boiling, its not their nature. but when their reason being were being questioned, they can do perhaps anything.

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loyalty ... integrity ... trust ... respect ... such strong words. I felt like running towards the end of the rainbow where all these strong words can be mine to be associated with, nicely packed in a colourful package.

unfortunately, the rain looks like it wouldn't stop, not anytime soon.