the wedding dream
usually, people put it the "dream wedding". in my case, I had the wedding dream last night.
recently, one too many times I told people I can't picture myself in a wedding, especially not in a relationship. I don't date, I don't even get asked for a date. its always me, giving that call to a certain guy asking if he is free for drinks. apparently, guys don't find me date'able. so, I don't date. relationship is like the stars, I see too many but unreachable.
but last night, in my dream, me, and my husband to be, were drafting our wedding invitations. what made me sad, is that, I was so much in love, kept on caressing his hair and giving him kisses, fondly. sitting on his lap, I kept on kissing his forehead, his cheeks and his lips and we went through the invitations. and he gets my jokes. and a quiet person. and he has a small mustache. hahahaha. and I even get along with his parents.
there's 2 things I don't believe I have in me. the girlfriend material, and the daughter-in-law material. in my dream, I succeeded in both, and was accepted.
it was a funny dream. to have that in life. the love, the relationship, the companion, and security of a stable relationship, being in love and married to the person you're in love with.
I have lost faith in relationships, just because I don't get asked to go out by guys. its like a small kitten in SPCA, no matter how cute you are, nobody seems to be interested enough to take you home.
the dream gave a very intangible hope. something I know, deep inside I believe in, but, realistically speaking, won't be happening to me.
don't tell me to wait. 24 years in life not being asked to go out for a date, thats beyond patience.
and yeah, I do have the occasional "eyh, bila kita nak keluar pergi tengok movie ni?" which ends then and there and the guy disappeared without rescheduling nor would he bother to call. what the fuck, thats not even an invitation! like I said, those kittens at SPCA, people carry them around, kisses them fondly, but nobody takes them home.
I hope to have that wedding dream more often, so that I can live with it through my dreams, things I apparently won't get in real life.
no wonder people say a goodnight sleep is a must. last night I had a very good night sleep I guess.
recently, one too many times I told people I can't picture myself in a wedding, especially not in a relationship. I don't date, I don't even get asked for a date. its always me, giving that call to a certain guy asking if he is free for drinks. apparently, guys don't find me date'able. so, I don't date. relationship is like the stars, I see too many but unreachable.
but last night, in my dream, me, and my husband to be, were drafting our wedding invitations. what made me sad, is that, I was so much in love, kept on caressing his hair and giving him kisses, fondly. sitting on his lap, I kept on kissing his forehead, his cheeks and his lips and we went through the invitations. and he gets my jokes. and a quiet person. and he has a small mustache. hahahaha. and I even get along with his parents.
there's 2 things I don't believe I have in me. the girlfriend material, and the daughter-in-law material. in my dream, I succeeded in both, and was accepted.
it was a funny dream. to have that in life. the love, the relationship, the companion, and security of a stable relationship, being in love and married to the person you're in love with.
I have lost faith in relationships, just because I don't get asked to go out by guys. its like a small kitten in SPCA, no matter how cute you are, nobody seems to be interested enough to take you home.
the dream gave a very intangible hope. something I know, deep inside I believe in, but, realistically speaking, won't be happening to me.
don't tell me to wait. 24 years in life not being asked to go out for a date, thats beyond patience.
and yeah, I do have the occasional "eyh, bila kita nak keluar pergi tengok movie ni?" which ends then and there and the guy disappeared without rescheduling nor would he bother to call. what the fuck, thats not even an invitation! like I said, those kittens at SPCA, people carry them around, kisses them fondly, but nobody takes them home.
I hope to have that wedding dream more often, so that I can live with it through my dreams, things I apparently won't get in real life.
no wonder people say a goodnight sleep is a must. last night I had a very good night sleep I guess.
posted by *cosmic freak* @ 5:52 PM
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