friday - 24th august 2007 - 7pm.

yellow sky on my left.


a big rainbow on my right.


a smile on my face.


a teardrop in my eye.

Kampung Haji Abdullah Hukum - Bangsar, Malaysia

Goodbye to another urban kampung
By CHRISTINA LOW

ONE of Kuala Lumpur’s early Malay settlements has been earmarked for development. Rumour has it that the 200- year-old Kg Haji Abdullah Hukum in Bangsar has been marked for a major development comprising condominiums, office blocks, shopping complex and there is even talk of a transit hub to be built in the area. StarMetrospeaks to the residents there to see what they think of the changes that are coming their way.For most of the remaining residents of Kampung Haji Abdullah Hukum, it is the sense of closeness to the city and the warm neighbourhood atmosphere that they will miss when they move out of their home of more than 30 years. But they all agree that it is time that some form of development take place in the area.“My family loves this place very much, but if we want our country to be a developed nation then we have to shift and let the proposed developments take place. We cannot be living in this area for our entire lives. But it is not going to be easy to leave this place as it holds many fond memories for all of us,” said V. Mani Velu, who operates a barber shop next to his home.His shop, situated near the Sri Sakthi Nageswry Amman temple, is shaded by tall coconut trees and has no proper door. It is a popular stop for many seeking to have an economical haircut.

Mani, who followed in his father’s footsteps, said he left school and took up the hair-cutting job at 12 and one of his regular customers, Abdul Samad, 62, has been frequenting his shop from day one till today.

“I have got so used to visiting Mani’s shop that if he has to leave the village, I would definitely look for him at his new shop for more haircuts,” said Abdul Samad who lives in an adjacent village but would often meet up with Mani for tea.

Leong Chong Moi and her husband Lam Kam Chong, who would be moving out of the village with their four children at the end of the year, said they too were happy that the village was going to be developed.

“We heard that a new bridge linking our village and Mid Valley would be built next year and we are very happy over the news,” said Leong, who sells vegetables for a living at Brickfields.

Both she and Lam love taking care of their pet dogs and planting fruit trees around their home in the village. After moving into their new home, they felt it would be impossible for them to continue their hobbies.

“I am going to put my dogs up for adoption and also take on new hobbies when I leave the village,” said Leong.

Traders Mohd Salehan Abdullah and Hashim Othman, who operate a burger and satay stall respectively, felt that the impending development was generally good but they hoped to be able to continue their businesses elsewhere.

“There is no place like home, and this place is just so peaceful and quiet,” said Hashim, who returns to his former home daily to prepare ingredients to cook the satay gravy.

Hashim would spend half a day in the village preparing ingredients and cooking the gravy using the traditional method – over a wood fire.

“Sometimes I stay here on weekdays and only return to the flats where my family is staying on weekends. This is such a homely place to live in,” said Hashim.

He too felt that developing the area was necessary but he would definitely be missing his favourite pastimes such as planting trees and cooking outdoors.

Mohd Salehan, 32, who has been selling burgers for the past 10 years in the village, said he only hopes to be able to find a place to continue his business.

How the village got its name

Haji Abdullah Hukum, whose given name was Muhammad Rukun, came to Malaya at the age of 15 with his father back in the 1800s.

To earn a living he worked as a farmer and a contractor before he started opening lands and villages with the consent of Raja Laut, who was then the Raja Muda of Selangor.

Abdullah was later chosen by Raja Laut to head a mosque in Pudu.

He was also given the authority to start a nursery in Bukit Nanas and to open a village in Sungai Putih (now Jalan Bangsar).

After retiring, he continued to stay in the village in Sungai Putih which is now known as Kampung Haji Abdullah Hukum.

(this article was taken from All Malaysia.info)

- two photographer. two flags. two facade of development -

Sunday, 19th August 2007

I joined the KL Flickr Walk for the first time upon an email invitation by my brother, Muid (yeah right, dok sebelah bilik pun nak kena refer email invitation) and I think, its one of the most exciting event I've been to this year. The KL Flickr group decided to head down to Kampung Haji Abdullah Hukum, an old kampung settlement in the middle of the concrete jungle with the most vast development in the Bangsar area. We gathered at Restoran Fatima behind Maybank tower at Bangsar and walked to Kampung Haji Abdullah Hukum.


The first thing that I noticed, not only the group consists of diverse ethnicities and everyone comes from a different professional backgrounds, but everyone were so humble and friendly. Although with my small Nikon E4600 (4.0 megapixels pulak tuh) compared to their big Digital SLRs with few range of lenses, we managed to bond and compiled some great shots altogether.


I had the opportunity of talking to the late Haji Abdullah Hukum's grandchildren, the grandson, an old man in his 90s who said that the village was built in 1890 and the granddaughter, an old lady in her 80s, who told how Abdullah Hukum came from Sumatera and he married a Johorian before building that kampung settlement and we also received a printed images of the late Haji Abdullah Hukum and his wife. The old lady told us that DBKL has purchased their land and they would soon be relocated and the land will be used for development. It will be a pity that so much sentimental values can be felt as we walked through the village. The village, also made up of a diversified community, from Indians to Chinese and Malays, happily living beside one another.


The group ended up in KL Sentral (was too tired to walked back to Bangsar, we took the train and had lunch in an airconditioned building - manja urban folks are we?). We bonded and spent time knowing each other. We end up with some mutual friends. I like to thank my brother Muid for inviting me and the rest of the group for being such nice and welcoming folks (Han, Shafina, Vis, Praveen, Prakash, KenMin, Jing Ying, Eka, Core, Eduardo, Mizi, Atikah, Amir, Rahman, Cik Din, and a few others - please excuse my very very poor dorry memory).


I've made mutual friends becos Monday night, I met up with Prakash again for the Documentary screening at HELP. I'm looking forward for more Flickr Walks as we raise awareness of the beauty of our nation's heritage through the wonders of photography and some good moments captured.

dark cold lonely friday night

in the dim light while listening john coltrane's "naima" and chet baker's "my funny valentine".


a smile on the face.


another drag of the stick.


smokes blown from the nose, and from the mouth.


another smile.


trying to hide the tears.


in longing of the love.


a person.


loved a little less.


probably not at all.


now.




it was different then.


when the ray of morning light used to make the best view.


when the sun light touches the face.


when the words were uttered.


the comfort.


lying on someone's arm.


face close to each other.


the sweet hug from the back.


those wonderful lovely few days.


love was made and love fades.


a person loved a little less.


fingers became numb.


hiding the tears that forced itself to shed.


a tremble.


a shiver.


night gets colder.


heart gets sadder.


light another stick.


a feeling not everyone will understand.


loved a little less.


then love fade away.


moon refuse to shine.


heart refused to warm.


now, everything changes.


circumstances remained unfavourable.


music plays on.


"naima" ...


"my funny valentine"...


fingers shivered.


heart wept.


loved a little less.


now, not loved at all.


for all that matters.


tears ... will be shed.


by a person ...


loved a little less.


if not at all.




not any more.

note

I'll be on duty at the Islamic Arts Museum for the exhibition today and friday, I'll be on leave until Monday. It will be a long resting weekend for me. Tho, I am looking forward to lend Bibi a helping hand for moving more nearer to my place. Heh. It has been 3 years since we've known each other, started from the our blogs. Anyways, do come by to the Merdeka 50: A Celebration of Malaysian Arts at the Islamic Arts Museum. It opens daily from 10am to 6pm. I'll be on duty once a week. I'll let you guys know when. And this Monday night, there will be a screening of documentaries at HELP University by the Kelab Seni Filem (or something like that, I don't really know) at 8pm. I might be there. And Atilia will be performing at the Wine Room (Heritage Row) on September 1st, 9pm. Owh, my friend Tina is getting engaged that very morning, September 1st. Hehe. Those are the hap'pening's around the cosmic abyss. Till then, I'm off to the museum.

malam isnani

kakak mydin ni bingit la. its 11.23pm. sibuk la galak bergossip. hurm. I just got back from the Malaysian Short Film screening at HELP. okayla. went there alone, met someone, had a ciggie partner. thats good enough for an occasion where you know no one. the short films are good, but I love "Qalam" by Hadi Koh the most. Its about a man searching for God at the wrong places. But I nearly cried towards the end. It brings perspective. Altho "Comolot" which won the top vote for the night deals with a terrific issue, "homosexual love", I still think "Qalam" is the best. The others hold some key essence in their respective manner. Bravo for the effort. Altho I was a bit disappointed with how the students, filmakers-to-be brought themselves. Without articulation, they barely answer what was asked. This is quite saddening, when some of us who know shit about film making can talk about it passionately, but those who are given the opportunity of knowledge and facilities, couldn't even understand what was asked, let alone answer it correctly. This is a pity because they do have potential in film-making and if in the future, their films worth the film festivals, how could they bring themselves as ambassadors of the country? I know creative people aren't always the most articulate, but at least, some passion and drive when asked concerning the field they breathe in. I know this is not learned in school. the art of answering lies in the initiative of the person. 11.30pm. kakak mydin have resided in a quieter manner. okayla. but battery is out. malas nak charge. will head down to watch tv. yes, the idiot box. I'm not that smart anyways. cos I always write about kakak mydin. as if I have nothing better on my mind. well, I don't actually. heh.

sesuatu yang terindah

suatu masa dahulu, penulisan saya pernah diberi kata "indah". ketika itu, hati ini baru mendalami erti cinta dan kasih sayang. seakan bunga yang segar bugar. seronok melayani si kumbang dan lebah yang berterbangan.

kini, semua itu seperti cerita cinta semalam. hari ini, tiada indah dalam tulisan, tiada indah dalam pemikiran. suria yang dipuja hanya memandang. bulan yang dicinta, kadang kala menjengah. langit seakan akan tidak mempeduli.

tiada indah lagi apa pun di sini. saya seperti hati yang sudah mati. ingin menulis, seakan memaksa diri. hasilnya, langsung, tiada seri.

saya impikan sesuatu yang terindah. tetapi, setiap kali saya menyebutkan ayat itu di kepala, di dada, sebaknya tidak terhingga. sesuatu yang terindah bukan lah indah semata-mata. sesuatu yang terindah sebenarnya agak menyakit jiwa.

iya. abby sudah gila. tiada indah lagi di sini. hanya seorang gadis gila. :)

one sunday night to a monday morning

its 2.07am. kakak mydin's lights are on but I doubt they're still awake. unless they couldn't sleep because my lappie was quite loud. I was playing some hindi songs then I played "Before Sunset". the movie has ended but I am replaying it to listen to the dialogue. I love the movie so much. it inspires me so much. in terms of thinking and the art of conversation. julie delpy did a very good job co-writing the script. and I can't wait for her new movie "2 Days in Paris". I personally think Julie Delpy is a great great personality. She can sing, write songs, act and now, she's directing and writing films. its great. and she reads a lot of poetry. whats more interesting, she have her parents featuring in most of her movies, and in "2 Days in Paris", they will be playing her parents. that would be so cool. well, she is indeed a cool genius.

today, I had my rest, sleeping and eating and yeah, resting. I had my radiator serviced, thanks to colonel who sponsored. heh. being broke in the middle of the month sounds pathetic enough for me. funnily, rezeki sentiasa murah and my car always have fuel and toll money is always there. but yeah, it is pathetic to be broke. but I managed to attend to the reporter at the islamic arts museum who's doing a coverage on the exhibition my foundation organised and then, on my way back, I got to hang out at my usual spot, had my iced-milo and read. and also bumped into a friend. whom I always enjoyed sitting with, even in silence. some people just brings us that kind of comfort. we can just have our smoke and sit in silence. or she will do her work and me my reading and in silence, we can enjoy each other's presence. well, I don't know about her, but I do find that comforting. the other day, we drove around in the middle of the night cruising down freakin' rich lords' houses, admiring and bitching about them, and got our brain filled with smoke and just, enjoyed the company.

this made me realised how much I enjoy being in the presence of someone comforting without the requirement of such luxury, being noticed in kl's hottest spot or indulging in good fine food (although I wouldn't mind doing all three), but whats more better is that ... cruising in the car, or even just parking, in the middle of the night, smoking and enjoying each other's presence. thats enough.

tomorrow (or today, since its 2.19am monday morning already), I intend to puasa qada'. but I don't know how bout I'd cope up, since this will be the first since I heavily indulged in nicotine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. well, I got to try now, ramadhan is coming.

starting next week (or is it this week since its isnani already), I'll have more time to myself. I will make time for myself. I need to have a better sleeping routine, and I need to adjust myself to certain things. I want to come home a bit earlier, and maybe just have more time to read. just stop by ali maju and have my milo ice or vanilla coke and read by myself. I always enjoy that. its great to be single (sometimes). catching up with my reading. there's a lot to catch up. and hopefully to take up at least one more course end of the year. self-development. studying with people who are working is so much fun. they're more open. its fun. we have time to compliment and bitch about work. and traveling. oh boy, do I want to travel. and I want to meet more people. so I can be more intelligent. I think I'm stoopeet right now. like really, not enough brain works up there. I want to have more fun lepak session with lots of conversation.

I'll try to write a poem for this one.

----- # ----- # -----

I want to smell you

like a mother smelling her freshly born baby

like a baby smelling her mother's nipple for milk

like a kid smelling his dessert

like a bee smelling honey.

I want to hug you

when it gets cold and dark

when it gets tough and hard

when it gets lonely and sad

when you're here beside me.

I want to see you smile

when I make you laugh

when I make you mad

when I make you sad

when I make you care.

You don't let me smell you anymore.

You don't let me hug you anymore.

You don't let me make you smile anymore.

You don't want me anymore.

You loved me a little less if not none at all.

I'll leave you now when you don't want me.

But I'll be there when you need me.

Not because I care.

But because I'm born to be there.

---- # ----- # -----
Its 2.33am. I can't sleep because I've slept earlier. Tomorrow I have work, but I need to make sure I won't crave for more nicotine if I want to fast. :)

being raised

today, I received a Certificate of Achievement from Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman upon the completion of the Fundraising and Communications course. It has been a stressful, tiring, but exciting and eye-opening 2 months for me. When I was assigned to join the course, I was thinking, oh gosh, there goes my Tuesday and Thursday nights and Saturday mornings. Well, to tell the truth, prior to the course, I didn't really come straight home after work anyways, there were always yamchar sessions with my friends, if not alone. I need the break from the traveling I do daily. And yes, one cannot deny the nicotine and caffeine break, especially when one is happily indulging in guilty pleasures, can she? hehehe.

altho it wasn't a proper certificate giving for me because before they started with the certificate giving, I've already on my feet to rush for another work-related event in Putrajaya. I was a bit sad, most of all to not have the chance for a proper goodbye with the little group who have opened my eyes. Truly an experience, worth the rushing through those heavy traffic congestions from Putrajaya on weekdays and Jalan Kuching on Saturday mornings.

Going to class, altho it might seem a bit boring and tiring, but the people made smiles feel warm. Yes, there are times when smiles can get cold. Although smiles adelah sedekah, but some people sedekah tak ikhlas. Hahaha. I owe this especially to my Fantastic groupmates, Carol, Joe, Suzana on the first day then Alawiyah and Valerie whom I met throughout the course. Working in such a government-like environment although we are fully NGO, I don't meet a lot of people from other races. So, its nice, and I had fun. I had a lot of fun actually. I truly love the guys, Simon, Jeremy and Joe to name few. I admire the indiscriminating group of people who actually made me understand the importance of acceptance, especially when one suffered inferiority complex as she was growing up. Public acceptance have been quite a great issue in our culture but these people made me realise that its about tolerance, above all.

I told Ms Ann Woo, the person who solely initiated the idea for such course, that after all this, instead of being a fundraiser or working for an NGO, I'm actually aspired to become a Corporate Philanthropist. To be on the other side of the fundraising world. The giver.

The funny thing in life, is that when I joined Maxis Communications as an intern, I was absorbed in the Corporate Events and Sponsorship department and I started my corporate step there. This lead me to write my thesis in Corporate Social Responsibility, such thing I never heard of then, let alone included in my syllabus when I did my International Business major. I completed my International Business major just to start my first job with an NGO. Where the world of NGO starts when a person retires from the corporate world and wanted to work for a mission, I stepped into the working world in a job with a mission. Irregardless of what mission a person would start of, its still defines who I am. A giver. If before, I used to call myself a people pleaser, I come to a conclusion that we all are here to give. To give back. For what we've earned. A Life.

Being out of the topic for a while, some fellow coursemates from SPCA brought some pets to show us how to pamper animals. I got to play with the two small kittens and the cutest puppy. I have not interest in dogs before but the puppy is so cute, I couldn't resist patting him when he blocked my way to exit. I wish I could hold him up and just play with him but I was in a hurry. The kittens, Ginger and Garlic, one white and brown were adorable animals. I told Yi Ching of SPCA that I might want to reserve them, becos me and Muid have been thinking of adopting some cats for home. Yeah, adding to my parents' concern, if not resentment. As if both of us will be at home taking care of the cats. But kittens are irresistible.

Anyways, now, at Ali Maju, PBD, my usual hangout, before I head home, I'm writing this down. Because I doubt I'd write it when I reach home. Because it has been a very long day, I'm totally exhausted and I might just sleep at home and not jot anything down.

Tomorrow would be another story. Another day. Tiring, I've foreseen. Yes, I am indeed telepathetic.

But for today, its all okay. Although I was previous saddened by the fact that I didn't even have time for lunch because had to rush from Petaling Jaya to Putrajaya. Dengan Jayanya, saya kini menulis entri ini. I might just lepak for a few more minutes. Then head home for a nice long sleep. Am thinking of days to ask for leave. I'm worn out. Totally worn out.

tuesday night

10.11pm. tadi kakak mydin gossip pasal kena spotcheck. heh. bukan niat di hati untuk mendengar, but pitching kakak mydin agak tinggi. hahaha. pitching tu apa? saya pun tak tahu. but I just use the word, it sounds cool. as if you know. hahaha. well, I bet this word has been popularised by those judges in those singing reality shows. I'm a sucker for singing reality shows. altho I kutuk afterwards. but I wanna be the stage manager. they don't know how to utilise stage. as if I know. hahaha. kenkadang kelakar la kakak mydin ni. pukul 10.13pm. baru nak makan dinner. hurm, should I be nosy and advise them not to take dinner that late. or maybe they're having supper. hahaha. kepoh giler. as if I don't have anything else to do. well, can't talk about things going on in my life. then, I'll bore you. owh, hari ni, saya menggunakan kecanggihan teknologi yang diaplikasikan dengan penerimaan laptop oleh colonel. since I don't have an mp3 player but muid gave me the cassette adapter he used during those stoneage time when he drove kancil, so what I did was to put my laptop on the co-pilot's seat, and attach the casette adapter to the laptop and wallah, kedengaran merdu suara penyanyi penyanyi antarabangsa dan tempatan bersilih ganti melalui laptop ke radio kereta. rasa hebat giler, macam pro-IT gitu. hahaha. as if you would know better. hey, I'm trying to be creative ok! I got home, colonel was having a smoke outside and got down to talk with him about some business plans I have in mind. he said I have to build a more credible portfolio first. its good, sitting down and chatting with the colonel. after this, I will have to ajar colonel untuk menggunakan printer/fax/scanner/copier yang baru dibeli for his office. maybe I should be a technician. hurm. my colleague proposed me to be a security guard considering sometimes I find it hard to sleep at night. no, I'm not insomniac. I'm just horny. hahaha. no, I'm not a pervert. as if you're not randy once a while. takdelah, itu bukan isu nya, cuma, I just sometimes get sooooo exhausted sampai tidak boleh tidur. hohoho. pelik sungguh bunyinya. hari ini, saya melakukan survey di friendster. hahaha. bosan giler. I wanted to post it here, but, at least, posting it at the buletin board in friendster gives you the choice to read or not, whereas here, you'd be annoyed to "have" to read it. as if you're not already annoyed reading practically crappy nonsense and updates of the life of kakak mydin belakang rumah saya. 10.21pm, kakak mydin masih belum makan. hurm. kerja banyak kot. as if I don't have anything else to do. and as if you do. hahahaha. I'll write a more intellectual post after this. apparently, I've become dumb and stupid as time goes by. as if time waits for me to be smart. as if ........

monday night

its 9.51pm. kakak mydin mesti penat bekerja. tak bising-bising. I felt bad, belum set up printer colonel. hurm. I need to speed things. asal on computer je, chatting la pelbagai. owh, kakak mydin sudah mula bergossip. hehehe. told my friend, I might rename this blog to "rumahku di belakang rumah kakak mydin". she said I'm the nosy neighbour. I said, I prosper thy neighbour. hehehehe .... its 9.55pm, monday night gossip session bagi kakak mydin. heh. I got home quite early. wanted to singgah meet my friend but she's busy. I chatted with my rock. my confidante who went away to work in singapore. funny thing, she can tell when I hide things, when I'm not really doing good. agak sedih, she's not here. I want to hug her. I want her voice telling me I'll be okay. its been awhile, I want to hug someone who would understand me. people apparently have no time to lend a hug anymore. either they're too busy or they're afraid of me, what a load of shit. either way, hugs should never be kept to oneself. it should be spread around. I don't see why people chose to gossip then hug. whats wrong with hugging? I like hugging. I being hugged and being affectionate with someone. mungkin kakak mydin tu, adelah manusia yang affectionate. mungkin. 10.06pm. kakak mydin sidai kain sambil berkemban. hehehehehehe .... nothing much to see. my stuffs are better. heh.

sunday evening

its 7.14pm. after 12 hours. kakak mydin sudah tidak berbunyi lagi. hormat maghrib kot. baguslah begitu. the colonel is confiscating my pc tomorrow. in return, he will give his laptop to me. okayla. I'm accepting it. at least I'll be on mobile from now on. next month's budget, buy a cool and bigger bag to fit the laptop and all my junkies wankies stuff. I do carry battery operated devices in my sling bag. cannot leave at home. will need when instant urges kick in. yes, terima kasih kerana berfikiran kotor. saya bermaksudkan digicam kesayangan dan gadget-gadget yang lain. saya tahu, selepas post "tepuk dada saya, tanya selera masing-masing", ramai singa-singa menunggu masa untuk put their paws on my dada. invitation still opens, but with warning incase I bukak pencak silat. heh. tanya la selera masing-masing. kakak mydin tak masak kot hari ni. selalu time-time cenggini, riuh rendah bunyi kelentang-kelentung periuk belanga berpencak silat bersama suara nyaring gossip harian. kenapa pencak silat menjadi tumpuan, saya pun tidak tahu. 7.19pm, saya penat. but I wanna share what I've written after the convention. I sat down at Dome KLCC enjoying my caffeine and nicotine break while brainfarting these following thoughts.

----- # ----- # -----

"The Making of Bangsa Malaysia", was the utmost interesting, controversial and yet endless topic chosen as the premise for the Perdana Leadership Foundation's panel session at the recent 5th International Convention of Asia Scholars (ICAS) held at the KL Convention Centre on the 5th of August 2007. Despite it being a Sunday morning and the last day of the convention, the session not only managed to attract more than 30 participants that consists of people from all ethnicities (foreign and local), but also got the floor to engage in a heated discussion on the sensitive issues surrounding the formation of "Bangsa Malaysia", which was originally initiated by Malaysia's former Prime Minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad.

The panel session which was chaired by Assoc. Prof. Dr Mohamed Mustafa Ishak (UUM), and convened by Dr. Mustapa Kassim (IPDM/UUM) gathered some top local academicians which includes Dr. Ariffin Omar (UUM), Dr. D.S. Ranjit Singh (UM), Dr. K. Nadaraja (UUM) and the Foundation's own scholars, Ms Sue Valquis Mashhor and Mr. R. Sivaperegasam.

The session started with each panel who was given 20 Minutes to speak on subjects of their expertise which comprises of the overview of what is Bangsa Malaysia; the definition of Malay; an overview of the foreign colonisation and occupation; islamic fundamentalism and other contentious issues; nation building under the Vision 2020 context; a retrospect of agendas and policies implemented by all 5 Prime Ministers of Malaysia and its relevance as a guideline for the future; and "Ketuanan Melayu" (Malay Supremacy).

I am pretty sure that I was the youngest in the crowded room and spent most of my time on my feet, taking photos of the session as of listening attentively to the discussion. As much as I doubt any of my friends, if not my peers, would be of an interest in the subject, nevertheless, I felt like a representative of the youth, if not the millennia generation.

In creation of "Bangsa Malaysia", race has been the most important and integral part of the formation of the subject. I have been talking to a lot of foreigners lately and every single one of them agreed on the harmony and utmost tolerance that we practice in our society. Thus, raising the question of "Why is it still a difficult attempt to create this Bangsa Malaysia, if such tolerance is practiced in a harmonious and unite nation comprising of diversified ethnicity?".

Malaysia was built by a group of people who were educated under the colonial education system. With a combination of well-educated and open-minded elitist and politicians, independence was achieved 50 years ago. Despite a couple of racial riots like the unforgettable 13th May Tragedy, leaders of all races tried to tolerate each other for the survival of their respective races.

This lead to the only issue that human being struggle endlessly in life. "To survive and maintain existence". Nobody chose to not exist. In order to exist, we have to survive. Those who failed to survive, will end up in extinction. People who managed to survive will have to evolve, not only physically, but also mentally, in order to maintain their bare existence. That's the circle of life, which leads to how we live. Putting death aside, this is what we practice, in order to not disappear from the face of the earth.

For someone without an academic qualification on the subject (business school teach you to make money, bulks of money, for not yourself, unfortunately), this has been thought through and concluded by rationalisation and logical thinking. Those who study philosophy would come across the basic but most popular question ever asked, "WHY DO WE EXIST?"

The panel discussion brought us to the implementation of policies by the reigning government for the past 50 years. As we discuss about the formation of "Bangsa Malaysia" within the existing races in Malaysia, what about the excessive inflow of undocumented workers who are actually creating their own "Malaysian culture" in Malaysia? This issue prevails the level of tolerance practiced by the government. We have tolerated the inflow of these immigrants or migrants to our country by understanding the need of their existence in building our economy. This is not the matter of showing to the world that Malaysia is a tolerant nation but more to understanding the significant of such existence of other races in order for our own people to survive.

But if such understanding is practiced, then why is there a problem or sensitivity that rise within the context of unity?

Being young and naive, I've realised all my theories end with a question. Even discussing such an intellectually-inclined issue, I can't help from being philosophical.

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thats all I got from that break. I think becos I pushed my brain too hard, I got brain numb again. kakak mydin dah start masak-masak. its 7.50pm. I better mandi, then pasang radio kuat2, then menari half naked. yeah. why not annoy them. ingat aku suka sangat ke terlibat dalam terdengar gossip-gossip pekerja mydin? its 7.52pm. my room is a mess. my cousin is sleeping over with his fiance. afis had to crash in my room becos fiqah had to sleep with the fiance. malam ni takde kakak mydin berkemban sidai baju. but, gossip dalam bilik boleh tahan kuat la. argh, aku nak pasang radio and menari half-naked. hahaha.

sunday morning

its 7.20am in the morning. I haven't been writing for so long. its sunday. kakak mydin belakang rumah bising giler. I slept at 2am last night. itupun after sms'ing goodnight to someone. it felt good. at least ada final sms goodnight. I miss that. morning ni no early sms. becos nobody wakes up at 7am on a sunday. I have to get in the shower and get dressed. will be an observer at the International Convention of Asia Scholars (ICAS) at KL Convention Centre. sound like grand giler padahal observer je. I didn't do my research, printed a bunch of papers, didn't read them and went to sleep instead. kakak mydin masih bising, bingit giler. nak je jerit, "woit, pagi sangat la kau nak gossip/ngutuk/ngumpat!" but nanti dia balas balik "kau ingat aku suka sangat ke kau pasang radio kuat-kuat, menari half naked dalam bilik kau tu". heh. takpe la. its 7.25am in the morning. jangan carik gaduh dengan kakak mydin. nanti takleh beli barang kat mydin. even though I don't frequent there. incase of emergency, never sabotage yourself. its 7.27am in the morning. pitching kakak mydin semakin tinggi. saya kena mandi. bye. wish me luck! (jap, apsal kakak mydin ni sounded like indonesian? ... ke jawa?)