The Cosmic Wise and Crappy Words

Thursday, September 27, 2007

a thank you note

I would like to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart, for those who still care, and remember.

I'll do this chronologically based on the sms, chats, wishes I've received.

To those who texted me:-

Ibah (Saya juga berharap hari-hari saya sentiasa indah dengan kehadiran kamu sebagai kawan yang setia), Farah (I felt a tear in my eye when reading "Luv u so much! N when i say i luv u, i really mean it". I know you do babe. And you know how much I love you too, right), Faris (Saya juga mahu kaya!!!!!), Jay, Dayana, Bank Islam.sms. (hehehe, penangan PTPTN), Alin, Gjie, Bibi, Bayah, Lilia, Elyna, Anis, Mizi, Aiza, Sarcy, Farid, Che Din, Izham, Stanley (haha, my art buyer).

To those who wished via Yahoo! Messenger/Google Talk:-

Ena (thanks babe!), Faris & Salmi (yang tiba2 offline tanpa bye bye), Tini.

To those who MMSed me:-

Han, seriously, the clip is SO DEM CUTE!!!!

To those who called me:-

Farisa (all the way from London, I'm so touched and love you so much!), Yongie (yeah, my vain sister who ended up talking bout herself, hehe, but I love you yongie!), Viga (all the way from Singapore, cayalah bro, berjaya buat I rasa bersalah! hehe), Bibi (text lagi, call lagi, hehehe, love you Bibs!), Mizi (what a surprise!), Affa, Yana (never too late!).

To those who gave me a card:-

My family, love the notes, especially Colonel writing "Have a Great Time Ahead". hehe. wow, colonel ask me to party kah???; My officemates who also called and sang via office extension, and later sang in the museum gallery. hehehe.

To those who wished via Facebook:-

Syiqin, Han Ghazi, Faizal, Salmi (grafiti cupcake yang sangat comel!), Hazlynda, Shafina, Isaac, Eka, Edri, Sharizal, Ariza, Kaz (hugster!!! BIG TIME!), Tini, Kak Ruby, Erna, Fatin Nadia (hahah, am waiting for what comes out of the plant dearest lickuid paper), Jaja, Grom Airiss.

To those who wished via Friendster:-

Gjie (dia lagi, bagus si kopi dangdut ni!), Maria, Oya (Nafsu 25th!), Fynaz, Emy, Tina, Miza, Valerie, Terew, Reza (see, complimentary thank yous come in blog and friendster!), Farah, Fidy, Kiena, Mahir, Dina, Five-Z, Soul, Hajar, Cupid, Viga, Ein.

I'm older, not old. And I have been loved. Thanks Guys!

Monday, September 24, 2007

a few days back, me and my girl Salmi was questioning, "why is it guys love those prim and proper matured looking girls who always behave, like ALWAYS BEHAVE prettily?"

me and Salmi giggled endlessly, admitting our childishness, our constant goofing around, despite the fact, me, the fake intellectual, and Salmi, a naturally born fashionista.

a lot of things have happened for the past one year. last year, I was futureless, not knowing what to do with my life, being utterly lame and begging muid to take me out at 11pm 25th sept for mamak becos I had no human interaction the whole day.

in one year, there can be lot of lessons learned, huge mistakes done, millions of people who passed by in our lives, and we've noticed half of them.

working has taught me a lot. its not like I'm new to working a year back, but a full time job that paved my career path, built the person that I am.

I met people I never met before, I met people who other people kill to meet. okay, killing might be over exaggerating it. yeah, I've learned how to over exaggerate the past year too.

commitments, responsibilities, juggling everything in my hand, and managing time. dealing with emotions and go on with life. crying inside and laughing out loud.

nearly half an hour ago, I discussed my future plan of publishing my book with a friend. she who is one of the greatest woman photographer in Malaysia, offered to take photos for my cover concept. the discussion I had with her made me realised my long time passion in writing which seems to fade away through time.

writing this thinking about my future plan makes me want to cry. the fact that this little no one, do have a dream she often refuse to admit.

dreaming is something I lost hope in.

I've dreamed a lot of things that I know wouldn't happen. So, I have become afraid to dream.

the past year, I've become, a Hug-a-Holic.

I crave hugs from everyone I know. Fortunately, I've made new friends who loves giving hugs, regardless how little I know of them. These people, we call strangers, are family from the life we've lived before.

as I grow older, I noticed that what I want, as years age me, is not maturity, but wisdom.

the wisdom to understand life, to be able to interpret it in my own very way, to find the magic in love and to act accordingly, while understanding things from different perspective.

not maturity.

if maturity I seek, being a quarter of century old, I think I've aged triple than these Gregorian years.

hence, I promise myself, I'll be a wise child. a person who never loses her inner child, who jumps up and down and take secret rides on barney at midvalley. but wiser. to not get caught embarrassing her friends. a child with passion to know. a child with curiosity to learn. a child who never cries after falling down, but giggled and rolled on the ground laughing. if no guy would fall in love with this child, its okay. relationship is not about being in one or having someone. relationship is enjoying the magic of love. and that magic happens in my relationships with family, friends and most of the time, the sun, the moon, the clouds and some stars.

in search of wisdom, I'd give up the chance to mature.

Happy Birthday to Abby! She's 25 years old on the 25th of September 2007.

Now, lets blow the candles shall we.


*darkness. and a smile*

when it comes

just when.

you thought.

you've lost hope.

in something.

you believe in.

just when.

you thought.

you've lost.


you cared.

just when.

you thought.

the sun.

refused to shine.

your way.

the light comes in different paths.

a gentle hand brought some warmth.

when it comes.

a little smile.

is all.

that you need.

to get through another day.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

a prayer

firstly, thanks to demosinme who wrote nicely on my comment box, a poem for the late Nurin.

I'd just like all of us to have a silent moment for a simple prayer.

For ...

Courage and strength to those who are tortured and mistreated.

Faith and hope to their families.

A better place for those who have been brutally murdered.

We all pray to the same Divine Force, regardless which faith we practices. We all pray for the same thing. For blessings. For laughter and smiles to come our way. And for a better world to live in.



Thursday, September 13, 2007

Salaam Ramadhan (eid Mubarak)

Salaam and Greetings to all,

You guys might just know me as Abby Latif or maybe Nurol Latif if we're connected through work. We might never have met, maybe occasionally bumped into each other and exchanged callcards or during those functions where millions of people would show up (yeah, just got to know there's 6 million people residing in Kuala Lumpur). Whatever it is, this note comes from the same person, whatever name you chose to call me with.

Ramadhan has arrived and in a community where collectivism is practiced and love is highly preached, there's no boundaries in respecting and sharing each others' great values. For the Muslims, we are advised to seek for forgiveness before we start our respectable fasting month, in order to cleanse our souls and start anew.

So, I would like to take this opportunity (as my v.v.poor memory would allow me) to apologise for any of my wrong doings, if I've said things I shouldn't have, disturbed you at the wrong time and unknowingly irritate you with my constant sarcasm. We might be mutual acquaintances but I know some, I have hold dearly to my heart, loved, laughed, cried and hugged.

There are times we need to be reminded.
There are times we forget.
There are times we smile for each other.
And there are times we live to regret.

But this time around with a humble face
I ask to share a smile and hold out my hand
Offering a sincere friendship along the way.

May you all have a great Ramadhan ahead, enjoy the Bazaar Ramadhan and Iftar outings with family and friends.

Lots of Love,
Abby Latif (Nurol Latif)
Mistress of the Cosmic Abyss

*Note - Tun Mahathir is now out of the ICU and am progressing well. More updated reports can be read in Marina Mahathir's blog and the Perdana Leadership Foundation's official website (under "From the Honorary President's Office")

Monday, September 03, 2007

putting on the thinking hood.

its bloody 2am and I can't freakin' sleep. I opened the windows and let the darkness enter my room. most probably becos I seriously need air ventilation. heh. But, I always thought that an open air can clears some perspective. And maybe becos I woke up at 2pm today, I was a bit too lively towards the end of the day.

last night I met a new friend who have been reading my blog. he told me I write ridiculously good. I don't know whether I am too ridiculous so he think its good, or the writings are too good until it became ridiculous. or he's just full of bullocks becos his anglo-centric brit slang took over him (sorry Naufal, I do seriously find you very much charming and cute, hehehe).

its funny to have that said to me, especially when I've written nothing of good substance lately, just an update of the hap'pening's in my life. as if people would freakin' wanna know whats going on in my bloody freakin' lame life (do you???).

as this shit of crapload took over my mind, I wonder what have been going for the past few weeks that made me feel so resistant to writing.

its the fact that I've been loved a little less by someone whom I have loved so much. And most probably, not loved a little less but have not been loved at all.

this high school attitude will cost me big time, but I told Farah, reason being of this is not really being clingy or whiny, its being loyal and committed to a relationship.

committed to a relationship does not requires clingy, pushy and demanding.

it requires faith in the relationship that you've built.

it requires trust in the commitment and effort that you've put in to make it work.

it requires the need to know that with the thought of you, that person would smile, and not grunt.

however, this does not happened to this person that I might have cared so much.

but I know I'm not being fair to the others who have loved me more and more and more.

for example, those who just know me briefly. I know I'm not a lovable person, not that I'll be the most intriguingly interesting for anyone to have the need to befriend me.

but I know I'm a very loyal person, be it to family, to friends and to work. I'm very committed. I try my best to make sure I'll worth everyone's time and money and most of all, LOVE.

seeing that been thrown at my face, is just .... saddening.

I'm a person of No regrets. I believe Things Do Happen for a Reason.

Maybe there's a reason behind this. To tell me that I should grow up and move on.

Moving on doesn't mean leaving things behind your back.

Moving on means that you can carry that shitload of burden irregardless of what happens to you.

I think this thinking hood is too heavy for me now.

I miss having time for myself. I miss hugging people. I miss crying in the dark.

If I die tonight, I doubt anyone would cry for me tomorrow.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

are you feeling free

so, Malaysia have been freed for 50 years. But of course, if we do a lot of thinking, as proven we are independent from any colonilisation, we are still colonised in some ways, say MTV, Hollywood and Bollywood for instance.

Though I'm not gonna dwell much on that.

Apparently I haven't been updating much. When I met my x-schoolmates, they told me that I've been like a very busy person. When I'm not actually busy. But my mind was full of thoughts. I have been thinking so much these days. Dwelling on memories I shouldn't have, thinking about my future undertakes and at the end of the day, I sat alone quietly.

These days, I'm very much into updating my Flickr and Facebook. Yes, am addicted to both. Facebook apparently features a lot of my matured friends, who are mostly above 27, and Flickr features most of the wackos from different backgrounds who are passionate in photography.

So, this portal will only be updated with thoughts and poetry. Which means only when I'm poetically inspired or when I found my muse. If not, I'll only be available on Flickr and Facebook.

I know I am now disappointing some of my readers, but I think this is just a phase. I'm sorry.

Owh ... its September ... and we started off September with such a great start.

First, the KLickr Merdeka Shoot, although I was separated with the rest of the group, but we followed our glamour board a.k.a. Anna Rina's boyfriend, we went the other way before getting back with the group. But at least I've make it up to them since I missed the Flickr party at Maison last Tuesday. Great meeting Erna and Mysara back after awhile. And the whole wacko people that made me smile and made the body ache worthwhile!!!

The next day, despite the body ache, I went to Tina's engagement and met the girls, Lilia, Tazz, Roxie, Dayana and Surya (with respective spouses, hehehe). Its great to see them after awhile. Sorry babes, for not being able to join you guys, becos I've made prior engagement. You know me, I don't do spontaneous hangouts if I've fixed my calendar. Sorry. Next time ok. We wait for Alin.

After that, on the night of 1st september, we went to the Wine Room to watch my beloved songbird sing. Although she wasn't feeling well, the moment she stepped on the stage, magic happened and of course, she looks gorgeous as ever! Thanks to ATILIA (my fav. babe), Muid, Eka, Ibah,, Naufal, Naddy and Moya. Plus my other new friends who I met there, Donna, and Nora (with her entourage), not forgetting bumping into my sis Yongie and my brother-in-law Malik during our mamak hangouts.

To all, I love you for kickstarting September with lots of Good Vibes!