The Cosmic Wise and Crappy Words

Monday, December 31, 2007

a reflection

"I do think when you fall in love, there's no more gender, no more age, no more race, nor religion issues come on the surface. Its a question of heart, of how much love. Thus, love is blind, and can make you go crazy. You're willing to kill and die. Thats love. And you can feel the same love for everyone, your dad, your mom, your spouse and your siblings. Thats love. For those who understands it. Not for the sake of being with someone. But for those magical moment that makes you cry and smile from your heart."

I wrote this on the Facebook's Social Moth application. It was written anonymously at first, but now, I thought it should be shared before I leave the year to step into a new one.

No, this is not a new year resolution post. Think is just something to reflect the fantastic emotional journey I have had throughout the year.

Falling in love with three person. The Sun. The Moon. and Loneliness.

Trying new things. Photography. Events Management. Public Relations.

Meeting great respectable leaders. And being inspired by them.

I might not been to places as much as everyone else. But at least in my cosmic abyss, I've created a borderless world of thoughts.

I've loved people beyond my capabilities, I've loved until it hurts, and I've been loved. But when you have reached the peak of Love, you have become skeptical on other's ability in loving. And you become unjust in your decisions.

Because you have loved until it hurts, its hard to know how deserving you are for other love coming your way.

But aside from all that, its fun to know that come new year, I'm uplifted with new spirits, aspired to reach my goals and inspired to write and fulfill my dream plans. I have directions and I know that I'm walking towards it slowly.

There's so many things that I look forward to next year. Travel. Soul-searching. and write and write more. So many little projects I've constructed in my mind. This little brain of mine have too many post-its stamped on it.

Tonight, there are no big celebration in plans. No hu-ha with the rest of the world. A small family gathering. Will take more photos of Opah (my dad's mother). Its fun to listen to her stories. I miss ma'tok (my mom's mother) who refuses to stay or even come down to KL for a few days to be with us. I also hope next year I can go back to Kelantan and visit her. Yes, another train ride.

End of January, me and my girl Ibah will be hitting the railway tracks, heading upnorth with our bodyguard (hehehe) for a weekend re-treat, bagpacking, island-hopping, ciggies, books, photography, conversations, coffees and soul-searching in Langkawi.

No, thats not a resolution. Just a plan. Not even a reflection. We'll reflect there. While brushing our feets on the sandy beach of Pantai Chenang.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

sheer simplicity

if luck is a lady, then loneliness must've been a man.

because I feel so secure with loneliness. and I have fallen so deep in love with him.

during cold nights, he kept me warm.

during crying days, he wipe my tears.

during times of low, he held my hand and walked with me. sometimes, he just sat down and smiled with me.

now. I felt I have betrayed my one and only love for not wanting to be alone.

but I can no longer deny the greatest love I have had with him.

I spent nights thinking about him.

I walked alone in a crowded streets, hoping that he would appear by my side and make me smile again.

life was so much simpler when you're in love with loneliness. a loner have become some sort of a celeb-status.

yesterday, I had a quiet dinner with loneliness. we talked about what had happened and suddenly, we're back in love. we walked the aisle together, hand in hand, not two different person, but one soul altogether.

What is there to know

This is what it is

You and me alone

Sheer simplicity.

lyrics taken from "Know How" by Kings of Convenience

Sunday, December 09, 2007

serene surrender

I tell you this.
I have nothing more to hide.
and Nothing else to lose.

I tell you this.
I give you all that I have.
Faith, Trust and Honesty.

with this I pledge.
my surrender.
in serenity.

Concept, Creative Design and Photography by Han Ghazi.
Poem by Abby Latif

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

its about Faith. and its about Trust.

there's an irony when I sing that Sade song out loud. it reminds me of something I once told someone.

I told that person "I have Faith in you and I Trust my judgement. Because Faith is something we own, trust is something we give. Both are fully ours, no one has a say in both".

I said that to her before I even know the word's to Sade's "Nothing can come between us".

So, its cosmically true. About Faith and Trust. Its ours and we own both. That's the only thing that kept us living till today. The faith we have that tomorrow will be there, and the trust we keep that whatever happens, what will be, will be. Kun Fayakun. The Mighty Lord says, "Be and it shall be".

I'm starting a new career, a new life and breathing a new air. I was downstairs having my ciggie and coffee break and my hand was scrolling down my mobile notes in my HPiPaq.

I came across a Rumi poem that I jot down.

In your light, I learn how to love.

In your beauty, how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest,

Where no one sees you,

but sometimes I do,

and that sight becomes this art.

Working again has a positive effect on me. And I'm smiling. With the strong breeze fighting the smoke I exhaled. In a poetic mood. I smile. With Faith. And Trust. all mine.