karma

do you believe in karma? well I do. I believe that karma hits with good force (not fozz, please be noted ya a certain someone). owh, shoot, there goes my focus again.

anyways, ya. I believe in karma. but a good friend of mine tonight told me that karma happens and just be it.

tonight I got a good dose of friendly comfort from two of my most trusted friends about two different people in (or out of) my life. and both of them made good argument if not advices in their cases of comforting and bringing sense to this confused state of mind.

I had too much laugh with the first friend and too much tears with the second one.

this moment, here and now, I can't feel bitter. maybe a bit strained after crying for a good 15 minutes on the phone. but it was justified with the sore throat I'm having after laughing too hard at dinner earlier.

love is a funny thing. and when you pledged it wholeheartedly to the wrong person, karma hits you good.

what I learned from all this is that I'm better off by myself. because at the end of the day, be it for whatever reason, its pointless to please everyone. and as everyone I've pleased told me that the whole world doesn't evolve around me after my devotion of making the whole world evolved around them, I shouldn't be afraid to be selfish anymore.

karma works in good way, for the best. to punish the guilty ones and to bring better perspectives for the victims.

tonight I see sincere love from two greatest friend one can ever ask for. and as I said 'I love you' to them, I know this love will never backfire in karma.

tonight will define a new path, for the decision I'm about to make. And I hope everyone who knows me well enough, would have faith in this decision, in the choices I make and in this person I've become.

but I apologise for the drama that I've caused. I say it better with written words because I'm a coward. And all I deserve is to be a loner and unloved, and a small circle of friends who can take me as who I am, the demanding drama queen who's confused all the time and sarcastic at any given opportunity.

Everything should happen for a reason. Enough Abby enough. People do stupid things and make foolish decisions when they're hurt. They can't think straight. So I'm doing everyone a favour. Despite being matured and thinking straight, I shall be stupid, foolish and ... errr, stupid. Because for the first time I feel pain and hatred. Hatred. Hatred because someone is doing me a favour. So I'm returning the favour because karma has hit me hard and hit me good.

Thank you karma. Thank YOU.