a little sappy girl

I didn't know whether it was a mistake or just a bad decision but after dozing of for 10 minutes last night, I accidentally woke up, took a vcd and watched it in bed using my laptop. It was an Indonesian movie called "Butterfly". A love triangle and a soul-searching journey by three friends, a guy and two girls. Funnily enough, the love triangle is that the pretty girl Desi, is in love with the tomboy girl, Tia, who is in love with the guy, Vano, who initially fell for Desi. Weird huh.

Anyways, I personally think the art direction was superb, kudos to the location manager and A.D. dept.

After I took out the CD, I suddenly took out my external hardrive, which stores all my writings. And what I end up doing, reading the sms transcript I had with someone who I fell in love with. Someone who I fell deeply in love with 2 years ago. We practically smses each other on a daily basis, in between our daily chats and coffee/ciggie outings.

Somewhere, deep inside, I miss this person.

Somewhere, deep inside, I'm still hurt.

Somewhere, deep inside, I still love.

It dawned to me the times I usually fall in love is when I am jobless. Twice, during my unemployment, I fell in love. At the same time of the year, for 2 years straight. I think I'm vulnerable when I'm unemployed. But its funny, when I start working, thats when the challenge of chemistry comes to play. If there's chemistry, I will not fall out of love despite my focusing on work. If there's no chemistry, I will slowly slip away.

I should get myself busy with projects. I actually committed myself to a few. Yes. First. Coffee.