you don't have to put on the red light

I've always thought that "Roxanne" performed by George Michael in his album "Songs from the Last Century" only can be found in live performance versions. Last Friday night, I was heavily YouTubing everything and came across with the videoclip and I understand why it wasn't widely publicised. Well expected from George Michael though, but being a fan of him, I immediately like the videoclip very much and would like to share it with you guys.



Last weekend was very eventful for me. A row with my bro and a good comeback. Guess that happens with everyone and when your brother is your bestfriend, it seems more difficult when you're apart. Some quality time with friends, a little with family, outing with my siblings and last night, me and Muid went to that fish spa in Kenko located in Midvalley. It was pretty relaxing and I felt good. Ticklish at first, I was giggling like an ..... Abby. Heh. (who else would I giggle like anyways?).

What I like about yesterday is that I was dancing again. It was raining in the afternoon, I blasted off George Michael's Ladies & Gentlemen CD2 and danced to "Outside", "Fast Love" and "Too Funky". I was sweating like crazy and I love living in the moment, me alone, dancing in the room. It has been awhile since I danced alone in the room (mostly due to my messy room where I can't seem to find the bed, nor the floor).

After the whole night outing with Muid, we came home and watched Penelope, the latest Christina Ricci movie. A very nicely done modern fairytale but the most special message from the movie was that, curses that we got, could only be broken by our ownself.

Me, I've been cursed for being the least beautiful physically. I have been cursed like hell by boys from my highschool, words like "muka macam pantat", "buruk macam babi", and other hurtful words, all through my senior years in high school. To make it worst, it was a boarding school so I practically grew up around being cursed by boys. Who I've grew up to be now, was mostly done by myself. Breaking out from inferiority complex, thinking I was THE most ugly girl that guys find disgusted to be with and all.

I broken the curse. Today, I find guys as secondary items. I don't cry on their shoulders and I don't need a guy to survive. I have different opinions on them and I judge them like hell. Because I am no longer at their mercy. I have once, being told by a former fling when we had a little argument, saying that "Listen here woman, you should be thankful enough you have me liking you, you think its easy for a girl to find someone these days?". Thanked god I didn't end up with him.

Today, I am free from all that. I am free to fall for anyone I want, Guys, or Girls even. And I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Like Penelope, I have loved the "pig" in me. And by loving that myself, I have broken the curse.

Love the person you are. When you finally fall in love with that, there's no one else who can question your ability to love.